can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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