turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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