Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ugly people sure do ruin things
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
