Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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