Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
