She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
