i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
