I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
