I smell stomach acid.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
