I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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