My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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