she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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