It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
