I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize