You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
