Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.

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(925): View more from California

Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

(1-925): View more from California

Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

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(813): View more from Florida

Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.

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(805): View more from California

I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony

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(360): View more from Washington

I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.

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