I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize