Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
