Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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