I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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