grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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