I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
