So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
