I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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