when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
