I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
