FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
