I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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