They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize