A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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