So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
