whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
