Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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