I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
