Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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