I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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