It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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