PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
