Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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