All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
