ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize