I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My dick has a subreddit
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
