Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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