i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
