I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So much rum. So many feels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
