so that wasnt chicken after all
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
