I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
