never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
