i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize