also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
