White coat. Heels.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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