you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize