I will die if light touches me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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