I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
