hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
