Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
