Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
