so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
