ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
