Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
