eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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