babies were throwing up all over the place
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
