i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
