I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
