im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
