You're so nebulous sometimes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
