Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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