yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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