I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
