Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
