The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
